THE TOURIST

There are times that some of you have challenged the validity of my “Star” ratings; either too generous, to stingy or too harsh. Many of these rebuttals are legitimate, salient and intelligent. So I have reconsidered and lend credence to your opinions by changing my position; unlike the commandments they are not carved in stone. The changelings are:

CONVICTION: GARNISHING A FOURTH STAR!

MORNING GLORY: UP FROM 2 & 1/2 TO A HEALTHY THREE STARS!

THE TOURIST: FROM 1 TO 1 &1/2 STARS!

“The Tourist” is a stunning, stylish, stilted, stupid film. Yes, Venice is one of the most photogenic cities on the planet.  You crave the watery wonder see: “Dangerous Beauty”, “Bread and Tulips”, “Only You”, “The Merchant of Venice”, for those with a more plebian palate James Bond dashingly romps, surfs around the liquid domicile in more than one episodic crime-elimination flick (“Casino Royale”).

The single and only reason to see “The Tourist” (a remake of the French film “Anthony Zimmer”, which has to be better) is Angelina Jolie! I have no issue with the deification of her sculptural refinement; she is sublimely divine, worthy of veneration. But I defy anyone to look at Venus de Milo, Winged Victory of Samothrace, Michelangelo’s “ David”, Rodin’s “The Kiss” or Da Vinci’s “Mona Lisa” for 103 minutes!  Angelina’s attributes and talents are best served in “Salt” , an action attraction of delightful, delicious dimensions.

Johnny Depp, intentionally and successfully miscast, is ridiculous and mundane as the foil (the tourist) in this deceptively false and phony spoof. Depp has been courageous and exhibited insight and fortitude in his selection of roles, an admirable trait that in this scenario went awry. It is time to doff the “Pirates” coiffeur, the scruffy, furry face and either lose the makeup or go full blast, embrace his alter ego (Marcel Duchamp/ Rose Selavy); it would have been vastly titillating, farcical and hilarious.  Instead we are tortured with a dud, of not epic, but most certainly, supercilious proportions.

ONE & 1/2 STARS !

For Now……….Peneflix