STOKER

It is March first and to this point “Stoker” reigns as the worst film of 2013! How and why do beautiful, gifted actors prostitute their talents for detritus; meaningless, nonsensical scenarios? South Korean director Park Chan-Wook (“Oldboy”) fills a luscious, enchanting landscape with nothingness.

Commencing at “Richard Stoker’s (luckily, a miniscule role for Dermot Mulroney) funeral, attended by his indolent, vapid widow “Evelyn”; a paltry portrayal by Nicole Kidman, whose cadence never varies from 33&1/3 speed; daughter “India” a somnambulist, poker-faced, barely blinking, a stoic Mia Wasikowska, robot-like she resembles the “walking dead” or “warm bodies”, with an injection of intelligence and supernatural, sonic faculties;  in the shadowy background we see a dark silhouette, portentous of impending disaster; “Uncle Charlie” eerily, creepily depicted by a paragon of flawless beauty, Matthew Goode, enters the “Stoker” household ( all devoid of a moral compass); and stokes the fuel of horrific, gruesome butchery.

Characterizations as porous as cheesecloth and just as bland. An innocuous script, at best a miserly four pages; blatant metaphors revolving around entomology, hunting, guns and gore; a macabre game between hunter and hunted.

Saving the film from a zero rating is a daunting piano duet, composed by Philip Glass; seamlessly sensual, erotically enticing; fingers entwined, pulsating, caressing the keys, never has intimacy sounded more titillating, sublime, satiated.

ONE STAR!

For Now………Peneflix